i realize i have problems. and that this might be a serious issue. and that maybe i should get professional help.
i once thought that yes, i would like professional help. but having lasted through this for so long without it, and probably from my own deteriorating since this all started, im more inclined to keep it this way.
at this point, im too tired to even work out why. i used to be able to sit down and just thinking about things and stuff, and realize the root of the problem. but not anymore. i dont know why now, just like how i dont know why i dont like being called sam.